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Hello lovelies,
Today, you're going to get a peek into my life. It'll just be a glimpse, because there aren't enough words in the world to fully explain this part of my life. Before I get started though, I would like to give a big thank you to Jessica over at over at Sweet Brair Sisters. She wrote a blog post titled Finally, The Total Truth about Life with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which I read last night, and was truly inspired by her - particularly the section where she talks about the awkward silence when mentioning her illness, and how she just sort of says, "I'm doing fine", even when she isn't. If you haven't guessed already, today, you're going to get a little peak inside my life with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome in late 2009, which is roughly 5 1/2 years ago. However, my symptoms started earlier than that - around the beginning of 2009. The problems began while I was sick during Pit Band, as a Junior in high school. Essentially, I pushed myself to my brink and then continued pushing - which now that I look back, was a horrible idea. However, the first real symptom started in May, when I was at a Memorial Day service with my local marching band.
We were standing in formation, listening to the various speakers when I started to notice something was wrong. First, it was difficult to play my clarinet. I found I couldn't even get through a few bars of a song. Then, my vision began to get dark. I can compare it to those old fashioned movies, where the screen would slowly disappear into blackness, leaving only a pin point hole; and then in roll the credits.
My conclusion: I was going to faint.
Well, needless to say, I was a little freaked out. I tapped on my friend's shoulder who was in front of me, and said something to her - to be honest, I'm not even sure I got words out. She took one look at me and said, "Your lips are blue!" I decided right then and there that I was sitting down, regardless of what anyone thought. However, I didn't get very far as two boy scout troop leaders who were near us grabbed me and walked me to the shade. (If you're reading this guys, thank you).
Flash forward several months, and now I'm on vacation with a splitting headache and dizzy spells are as frequent as the sand on the sea shore. I couldn't go outside in the heat without feeling like I was going to pass out, and boy, was I exhausted. Thankfully, it wasn't long after that I was able to get to a doctor, who formally diagnosed me with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS).
Life since then has been nothing like I expected. I was supposed to be going to college, getting a job, marrying and having kids. But instead, I was at home - doing nothing of importance, in my eyes. Thankfully, with the support of my family and the amazing love God lavished on me, I didn't give up.
It's been a difficult road that I wouldn't wish on anyone. There are days when I think, "Hey, I'm feeling good. Maybe I'm getting better." And then other days come along that crush that notion to pieces. Days like today, actually. But I know that I won't be like this forever. There will come a day when I'm no longer weighed down by illness, because Jesus will have made me whole again.
But more on that next time.
This series of posts are going to come in many parts. Part Two will be about how I am living my life after dealing with this for over 5 years. Part Three will be about what I learned over those years.
I hope Part One of this series has helped you, dear reader. Whether you're struggling with the illness yourself or know someone who is, I want you to know that I am thankful for you. And that you are not alone.
With love,
Laura
Proverbs 3: 5-6
Today, you're going to get a peek into my life. It'll just be a glimpse, because there aren't enough words in the world to fully explain this part of my life. Before I get started though, I would like to give a big thank you to Jessica over at over at Sweet Brair Sisters. She wrote a blog post titled Finally, The Total Truth about Life with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which I read last night, and was truly inspired by her - particularly the section where she talks about the awkward silence when mentioning her illness, and how she just sort of says, "I'm doing fine", even when she isn't. If you haven't guessed already, today, you're going to get a little peak inside my life with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome in late 2009, which is roughly 5 1/2 years ago. However, my symptoms started earlier than that - around the beginning of 2009. The problems began while I was sick during Pit Band, as a Junior in high school. Essentially, I pushed myself to my brink and then continued pushing - which now that I look back, was a horrible idea. However, the first real symptom started in May, when I was at a Memorial Day service with my local marching band.
We were standing in formation, listening to the various speakers when I started to notice something was wrong. First, it was difficult to play my clarinet. I found I couldn't even get through a few bars of a song. Then, my vision began to get dark. I can compare it to those old fashioned movies, where the screen would slowly disappear into blackness, leaving only a pin point hole; and then in roll the credits.
My conclusion: I was going to faint.
Well, needless to say, I was a little freaked out. I tapped on my friend's shoulder who was in front of me, and said something to her - to be honest, I'm not even sure I got words out. She took one look at me and said, "Your lips are blue!" I decided right then and there that I was sitting down, regardless of what anyone thought. However, I didn't get very far as two boy scout troop leaders who were near us grabbed me and walked me to the shade. (If you're reading this guys, thank you).
Flash forward several months, and now I'm on vacation with a splitting headache and dizzy spells are as frequent as the sand on the sea shore. I couldn't go outside in the heat without feeling like I was going to pass out, and boy, was I exhausted. Thankfully, it wasn't long after that I was able to get to a doctor, who formally diagnosed me with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS).
Life since then has been nothing like I expected. I was supposed to be going to college, getting a job, marrying and having kids. But instead, I was at home - doing nothing of importance, in my eyes. Thankfully, with the support of my family and the amazing love God lavished on me, I didn't give up.
It's been a difficult road that I wouldn't wish on anyone. There are days when I think, "Hey, I'm feeling good. Maybe I'm getting better." And then other days come along that crush that notion to pieces. Days like today, actually. But I know that I won't be like this forever. There will come a day when I'm no longer weighed down by illness, because Jesus will have made me whole again.
But more on that next time.
This series of posts are going to come in many parts. Part Two will be about how I am living my life after dealing with this for over 5 years. Part Three will be about what I learned over those years.
I hope Part One of this series has helped you, dear reader. Whether you're struggling with the illness yourself or know someone who is, I want you to know that I am thankful for you. And that you are not alone.
With love,
Laura
Proverbs 3: 5-6
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